Boris having a purrfect day

Boris003Yesterday Percival joined me on one of my patrols around the KSPCA, he is the resident KSPCA pig. For those that do not know him he is a bit of a hogthrob in the swine world and is the sole remaining survivor of the debacle of the Parliament Pigs – when reluctant pigs were recruited to support a demonstration outside Parliament, protesting about MP’s inflated salaries. Percival is the last remaining witness to this uniquely human form of insanity and now is an active member of the KSPCA, a true piglomat. Anyway we were on our usual stroll around the kennels and met a new dog who had arrived that morning. Such a pretty little thing and so sad, I have rarely seen such misery and incomprehension. With some gentle probing we found out that Middy, her name, had been brought in for rehoming as her human family had tired of her. Adored and pampered when she was young she wanted for nothing and then neglected and rejected when her puppy appeal and her skittish ways faded. I have met many dogs like this but Middy touched my heart, the total bewilderment at what she could possibly have done wrong and telling her that her only crime was to grow old did not stop the tears. Percival and I left her to her grief, shuddering and sobbing, staring through the kennel door up the path in the hope that her beloved human family would come and take her back home.

After that we needed cheering up and so wandered up to see the cattery. Always a high spot of my day and Percival does enjoy scratching himself against the cattery which guarantees an outpouring of hissing and spitting. Simple pleasures, although on occasion Percival has been swiped across his ample rump by a nimble, accurate and extended claw, he is a portly pig and one can only dodge flying feline feet so much. Today the cat-calling quickly escalated into a feline frenzy as Percival grunted and groaned in pleasure heaving his bristly bottom up and down the enclosure. These were not petulant meows but a raucous outpouring of indignation and rage, funny thing is that cats meow to humans but not to each other. Humans are trained to react to a meow and immediately heads are stroked, doors are opened and food dispensed, I should try meowing; humans can be a bit slow on the uptake so I’ll try anything for a purrfect day.

I think I’d better go back and check on Middy, I have a bone stashed in the human office which is wonderfully revolting and ready for gnawing and it might just cheer her up. I have various goodies stashed all over the place; it’s good to have an emergency snack. The head-human does find my secret stashes, I think it must be something to do with the mouthwatering smells and to my horror she throws them out but so long as I can keep restocking I don’t worry too much. This particular gem is a present from a female-human that comes to visit me and brings me bones that are fresh and need care, experience and dedication to get them perfectly ripe stage of decay. I really don’t know why this female human brings me bones but am always grateful and occasionally give her a lick, at which she whirls in delight and shrieks in what I think is pleasure; she seems to think that I am a ‘Whoo whoo what a handsome boy’ whatever that is. She once brought me a Big Mac! I really could become a junk food addict, though I am not partial to pickle. This reminds me, I received an email from a friend in America a few days ago, her human family went on their annual walkabout and she went to stay in a dog hotel and part of the all-inclusive package is to be taken on a drive through MacDonald’s where she can order a BigMac, Cheeseburger or chicken McNuggets. Don’t think I’ll tell Middy about this just yet, hopefully my precious bone will stimulate her appetite – bone appetit.

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